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#ChooseUrNerdrotica, black twitter, twitter, writing | in Books, Sex and Sexuality, Technology 
Hello Fellow Nerds & Geeks!
Nerdgasm Noire Network will be holding a special Twitter event on December 26, 2013 at 7pm EST. If you like Choose Your Adventures & Erotica stories, Thursday will be your lucky day!
Join us for an awesome Round Robin Story where you can help write it! ON TWITTER!!!!
Here are the rules.
Here's an example.
@NerdgasmNoire: It was a dark & stormy night #ChooseUrNerdrotica
@RandomTweet1: 2 And all was eerily quiet #ChooseUrNerdrotica
@RandomTweet2: 2 But Sarah didn't care for the gloom at all #ChooseUrNerdrotica
@RandomTweet3: 3 Sarah was just happy that Joey was with her #ChooseUrNerdrotica
@RandomTweet4: #TheEnd Too bad Joey ain't about the haunted house life so he grab Sarah & left #ChooseUrNerdrotica
Make sure to follow us on twitter at @Nerdgasmnoire & the hashtag #ChooseUrNerdrotica for the fun on December 26, 2013 at 7pm EST!
#ChooseUrNerdrotica, black twitter, erotica, twitter, writing | in Books, Nerdgasm News, Sex and Sexuality, Technology 
Topics: Michelle Obama releases rap album, Apple sue happy, Oprah denied purse, hollywood loves whitewashing, Trueblood, and Pacific Rim love.
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Apple, Doctor Who, Michelle Obama, Pacific Rim, movies, oprah, whitewashing | in NNN, Podcast, Sex and Sexuality, TV & Movies Got a new job.
It pays well and I seem to be pretty decent at it.
I have a new girlfriend willing to move mountains to make me happy.
Yet here I am, in the same spot I was two months ago trying to write a piece but feeling that it was too sullen and off topic to be posted on the site, or even to be of interest to anyone. Two months ago, I found myself in the midst of one of the most fruitful yet utterly devastating job searches in which I had ever engaged. Everyone wanted “Carlos”. Every prospect getting to the third interview me even turning some down because I knew that there was a better on out there. In the end I took a position doing something that my last “real” job passed me over for; six times.
Okay, this actually sounds pretty awesome. Let me back up a bit.
October 2011, my previous “real” job is coming to a head. After doing the same menial shit while taking on more responsibilities for the last five years. Seeing my Boss call customers and collect favors by hiring their kids and nephews to positions that I have been working towards, often in a week or two when it takes anyone else months to get into this company, it just started to grate. Being called “Carlos”. Being “Carlos”. Having the smallest bit of wiggle room afforded to my Gender expression by letting everyone know that I was Bi. It was just time to go.
I left on good terms. Told them that I was going back to school or something. Out of there, I felt like I had turned a corner. I was finally going to be myself at work. “Carlos” would just be the suit that I wore to my Mother’s (She knows, It’s just not worth the fucking trouble).
Then came six months of making less than I have ever in my life…
So here I am. Being good. “Being Carlos” Making more money that I ever have made before. A pretty decent amount considering I have no type of degree or special training and there is no manual labor involved.
I turned 30 this year
I honestly have no idea which half of my 20’s was worse. Coming to terms with who I was just made me see everything that I could not have. The funny thing about the closet is that you feel safe inside. Or at least I did. I was miserable but I didn’t exist. I couldn’t live life, but there was nothing out there for me. I swear, all of the people who harp on coming out of the closet never mention the goddamn the electric fence waiting five feet outside of the motherfucker. You go from never really seeing what you are missing, being totally in the dark with open eyes; to never being able to look away. God help you if you get lost in what you see. Maybe start to see yourself in it. Forget that the fence is there.
You will be reminded.
Some Good happened. I just can’t feel it. In dragging myself through for the sake of those that just can’t see me go; I lost something. I am still out, everywhere that is not my Job or my mother’s house. Just about everyone who loves me, calls me Kara; and considers me Kara. Things are not horrible. They just hurt and I can’t feel anything else.
I hate when people call me brave.
I guess that this is the part where I staple on some bullshit Tranny “Sailor Says” section so that this is not just a complete whine fest. That’s fine, while a major part of me is writing this just so I will be able to finally write something else, there can be purpose in this piece. Whipping Girl was the first book that ever offered me personal validation. In it, the writer mentions that one of the problems with mainstream trans-narratives is that they all tell the same story and that story seemed to be tailored more towards non-transpeople than anyone who actually needed to know that there was someone else out there like them self.
The closet really is the safest place for a lot of people’s “right now”. The Hood is not the place be an LGBT teen. The Hood is barely a place to safely be a human being. When homeless LGBT teens are the most at risk of any homeless youth, who would ever put pressure on a kid who has no control of their living conditions to be “out and proud”?
As for adults, we do make a decision and are not nearly as helpless. That being said, anyone who faults someone as smart as me and as hardworking as me and as resourceful as me for not accepting minimum wage in a sleazy area as a small price to pay for “pride”; can go fuck themselves.
No one ever talks about the people who hurt and keep moving. No one sees poor Gays and Lesbians who can’t afford to move somewhere safe. No one sees selfless LGBT people who care more about their families than they do themselves. No one sees transwomen that would fall too far outside of accepted female standards so fucking rigid that Fat women can barely fit inside without an asterisk. You won’t see these people posting transition timelines on Reddit or parading in their local Gay Ghetto declaring their Pride. They are just trying to keep a gun out of their fucking mouth.
I guess that if I could tell these people anything, it would be that “You exist as you are. You are doing the best that you possibly can with what you have and you are going about the hard work of living. You don’t owe anyone a damn thing and above all, stay safe.”
I promise. Next week I’ll talk about League of Legends or some shit.
I work for an LGBT bookstore/adult novelty shop in Atlanta. I was hired to work on their inventory management but also as a way to add representation for the trans community in a traditionally Gay area that is dominated by small, fit attractive young white males. There is nothing inherently wrong with pretty young twinks being everywhere. I like that they have an area to go to where they can be themselves with no need to feign hetero-normative behavior. The thing is that Atlanta is awesome because of it's diverse LGBT community. There is really only one bar in the city where noses are in the air and you will be ignored unless you look like you just walked off a photo shoot. All of the rest are super casual and welcoming. I've partied with the Bears at the Atlanta Eagle, the Country guys at the Heratic and even with the more “urban” set at Bulldogs. While I've gotten my share of ignorant questions, there has never been any malice thrown my way.
The thing that I find the most surprising about the community's attitude towards me is that Gay men have a bigger problem with my Gender expression than Lesbians have with my male physiology. I am extremely early in my transition. The only treatment that I have undergone is psychological counseling, so I am 100% physically male at the present. Now, this would make one, or at least me, think that a Gay man would be more interested in me than a Lesbian woman since how I view myself would be little more than background noise once the clothes come off but It seems that Gender Identity counts for quite a bit more than one would expect. Inversely, most Lesbians that I speak to view my body as little more than details. Yes, while things are by no means perfect for me, I am very blessed to live in a place like this. In fact, the more I write, the more mundane, I realize that my life must sound but like my previous post, I am giving an outline. There will be plenty of time later to go into my brushes with the BDSM community, my dating attempts or even the 21” forearm dildo that we sell at work (complete with hand). My entries will be a nice mix of Gaming rants, musical snobbery and real life bullshit. I'll try and avoid the sob stories of fucked up childhoods that are always plastered all over the testimonies of other Trannys as I really think that everyone gets to adulthood differently and what really matters is how you go to war with the army you got.
Later Peoples.
gender, gender identity | in Sex and Sexuality Wow it’s been awhile since we’ve had one of these. I know, how horrible of me, but that doesn’t mean the action has stopped here.
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A completely new way of waking. An alarm clock that wakes you with pleasure.
I definitely toss and turn when I sleep. Yet, after a night of wrestling with my pillow, the Little Rooster remained in place, for the most part. It definitely became slightly askew, yet it was only my first night with it, so I likely haven’t figured out the perfect way to place it yet. It vibrated and, well, I felt it and I woke up. The setting I had it on was about 13 (out of a high of 30). It would increase from 13 to 30 throughout 6 minutes until it finally beeped. Tonight, I’m probably going to have it start at a lower speed, that won’t be as intense as 13 was this morning. I definitely think it will take a little while to figure out what the best settings are for me, to get my waking up experience to be the one described on the website.
reviews, sexuality, toys | in Sex and Sexuality, Technology 
