CINEMOSITY 39 - BADLANDERS AND OTHER MOVIE RANTS

• CINEMOSITY 39

Welcome to the latest Cinemosity! The hot goss can be found within as you would escape but there are perhaps THREE movie rants in this episode and only one of them is about this week's movie, the abysmal BADLANDERS. And yes, Nick Cannon is a giant douche and we're mad stupid people make us defend him. But yeah, Badlanders is really bad except for the great Michael K. Foley, God bless that eye-bulging loon.

Next week is the Michael Michael Crichton adaptation TIMELINE starring Paul Walker, Gerard Butler and Billy Connolly. Thanks for listening!

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Into and outtro beats produced by Beatg33kz for Shadowville Productions

CINEMOSITY 36 - TRESPASS

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Cinemosity returns! All the gossip you can handle and then the movie of the week TRESPASS stars Nicolas Cage, Nicole Kidman and Cam Gigandet (sp?) and directed by Joel "I made 2 good movies in the 80's" Schumacher. Holding the record for the quickest turnover from the big screen to DVD (18 days!) Trespass is a series of plot twists haphazardly taped to a barely coherent story. Plus you get to hear Nic Cage yell "DO IT SHIT HOLE!"

Our movie for next week, can you resist Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor? Unfortunately we could not so get ready for the preachy, judgmental horribleness of Tyler Perry!

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CINEMOSITY 35 - OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN AND STUFF

Cinemosity is back! It's a bumper episode with the Cinemosity gang as they reflect on 2013 and the first year of Cinemosity! They also talk about VH1's Biggest Flops of 2013 and the very slippery White House invasion movie that actually made money, OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN!

For the next episode your homework is the movie TRESPASS! Starring Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman, this movie holds the record for the quickest transition between theatrical release and DVD release (18 days) and production was briefly paused when Nic Cage decided he wanted to be the bad guy instead of the good guy. I wish they had just carried on shooting the movie with him as the villain with no explanation, that would have been AWESOME.

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Into and outtro beats produced by Beatg33kz for Shadowville Productions

CINEMOSITY 34 - BEFORE I SELF DESTRUCT

Cinemosity returns with pregnancies, beefs and ratchetness galore! Plus a little bit of movie news and a scathing critique of the MPAA (watch This Film Is Not Yet Rated to learn more). Then the movie, BEFORE I SELF DESTRUCT, may at first seem like a dreadful, half-assed vanity project by a mush-mouthed rapper with too much money. However peel back the layers to discover the many levels of sheer dreadfulness this film works on and why Martin believes it is 50 Cent's THE ROOM. Spoilers abound but you may still want to go watch this inept debacle for yourself. Next week is the movie where one man must rescue the President of the United States from terrorists. No, the other one. Enjoy!

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Into and outtro beats produced by Beatg33kz for Shadowville Productions

CINEMOSITY 32 - HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET

FUCK THIS MOVIE. This abysmal, hateful, shameful misanthropic debacle of a dreadful piece of shit horror movie. Fuck it in the eye.

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CINEMOSITY 31 - SWEATSHOP

Gossip sucked this week. So did the film.

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CINEMOSITY 30 - THE RAVEN

Cinemosity is back!
Miley Cyrus in "saying something stupid" shocker! Tyra Banks suing stupid-ass wig companies! Sean put a ring on it now he's ass-gaged!

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CINEMOSITY 29 - DISCO GODFATHER

If you can tear yourself away from the above gif long enough to read this description, congratulations on your steely reserve and self control. This week Cinemosity begins its run of being posted ever Monday night.

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CINEMOSITY 28 - FREERUNNER

Cinemosity is back! We're changing the schedule a little due to Real Life Happenings but the show is back and here to stay with your dose of celebrity gossip and ratchetness and a look at terribad movie FREERUNNER.

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CINEMOSITY 27: DEATH RACE 2

Luke Goss

Cinemosity hits you with a heavily armored car at high speed on its way to a two week break. Yes, the show is going away for a couple weeks but you're left with some ratchetness, some gossip and DEATH RACE 2 which was astonishingly not terrible and very enjoyable. Plus it has another sequel you can go watch right away! So while waiting for the show to return you can watch the movie for next time, FREERUNNER. Also, Kamille really has it in for Jewel for some reason.

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Into and outtro beats produced by Beatg33kz for Shadowville Productions